I really do. In the past month several things have been revealed to me... numerous areas in my life where I have either inadvertently hurt someone or just fell short in an area that could have been prevented. I like to think of myself as a friendly, semi-outgoing person who tries to reach beyond for those that are sometimes unnoticed but I all too often have gotten caught up in the fold.
As you probably already know, I just returned from CYF camp, a camp that I have been part of since I was a 10th grade camper myself. Of course I have taken different roles and such throughout the years, but I am so thrilled to still be a part of something that has been so influential in my life. Camp might be for the youth we are there counseling, there is always something that sticks out to me and really makes me strive to be a better person. I have definitely came home with numerous thoughts in my head, with questions I need to work out in my mind and a desire to grow deeper in my knowledge and faith. I am stepping out here... not sure what all this entails but I hope maybe there are others around me that will feel the same desire... a call out of our complacency into a depth that we have yet untouched. I guess only time will tell, but I pray that this desire continues and burns into my being in the coming months...
Most of you know that our life has been insanely crazy and chaotic this past year... last April Tim's Dad unexpectedly passed away, Addie had numerous unanswered medical issues last June, one of my Uncles passed away, my Dad had a knee replacement/ diagnosed with Diabetes in December, I had a routine test come back with questionable results and then this year my brother had a cancer scare, Tim's Mom was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, we have been unsuccessfully trying for another baby and now I recently found out that my Mom has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease... somedays I have questioned whether God truly was present and taking care of us. It has just seemed as though a grey cloud has been over us, sucking out our life slowly over time.
This song has really stuck with me throughout the past week... and I finally believed that although we may be facing struggles, He is still there, holding onto us and giving us a light that will lead us out. There will be an END and until that time, I need to trust that He sees the big picture that I am not seeing. A great verse that a friend shared with me a few weeks ago states, "I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go. I'm telling you, 'Don't panic. I'm right here to help you." (Isaiah 41:13) I want to start living my life and claiming that as the truth, as my stronghold. He is right there... waiting for us to reach out and grab hold.
I just thought I would share the lyrics here with you in hopes that maybe it will somehow strike you as well...
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
As you probably already know, I just returned from CYF camp, a camp that I have been part of since I was a 10th grade camper myself. Of course I have taken different roles and such throughout the years, but I am so thrilled to still be a part of something that has been so influential in my life. Camp might be for the youth we are there counseling, there is always something that sticks out to me and really makes me strive to be a better person. I have definitely came home with numerous thoughts in my head, with questions I need to work out in my mind and a desire to grow deeper in my knowledge and faith. I am stepping out here... not sure what all this entails but I hope maybe there are others around me that will feel the same desire... a call out of our complacency into a depth that we have yet untouched. I guess only time will tell, but I pray that this desire continues and burns into my being in the coming months...
Most of you know that our life has been insanely crazy and chaotic this past year... last April Tim's Dad unexpectedly passed away, Addie had numerous unanswered medical issues last June, one of my Uncles passed away, my Dad had a knee replacement/ diagnosed with Diabetes in December, I had a routine test come back with questionable results and then this year my brother had a cancer scare, Tim's Mom was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, we have been unsuccessfully trying for another baby and now I recently found out that my Mom has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease... somedays I have questioned whether God truly was present and taking care of us. It has just seemed as though a grey cloud has been over us, sucking out our life slowly over time.
This song has really stuck with me throughout the past week... and I finally believed that although we may be facing struggles, He is still there, holding onto us and giving us a light that will lead us out. There will be an END and until that time, I need to trust that He sees the big picture that I am not seeing. A great verse that a friend shared with me a few weeks ago states, "I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go. I'm telling you, 'Don't panic. I'm right here to help you." (Isaiah 41:13) I want to start living my life and claiming that as the truth, as my stronghold. He is right there... waiting for us to reach out and grab hold.
I just thought I would share the lyrics here with you in hopes that maybe it will somehow strike you as well...
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
2:06 PM
Jen, hang in there - I'm praying for you and know God is doing great things through these difficult times. YOur blog post and all of your honesty really blessed and encouraged me today with the personal things I'm going through as well. I love this song - have you heard David's Crowder's "You Never Let Go" too? That one is amazing and brings me to tears most of the times I listen to it.
4:26 PM
I think I needed to read this entry and those song lyrics are very powerful indeed. I am far from perfect as I struggle in this area as well - your entry is a gentle reminder that things are not in my control and that I not only need to let my faith carry me through but also to remember that He has never abandoned me, even during the darkest times. Hugs.